The Meeting

When we first got the call that we had been chosen by a birth mother (I'll call her K), we learned that she wasn't ready to meet us yet. We were a tad bit disappointed, BUT we could totally understand why she would feel that way. This was a huge decision for her. With it being only 2 months until the birth, the agency let us know it was possible that we may not meet K until the hospital, and in some cases birth mothers even choose to never meet the adoptive parents. So we began to pray for her daily; that she would have peace in her decision, that God would calm her fears, and that we would be able to have an impactful relationship with her.

About three weeks later we got the call that K was ready to meet us! Our agency set the date, which was about 2 weeks away, to meet with our case worker, the pregnancy counselor, and K. Leading up to that was a roller coaster. Some days I was incredibly nervous...what if she doesn't like us? What if we're not the people she thought we were based on our profile book? What if I say something to mess it all up? Other days I was so excited! She was the person carrying our child. She chose us for a reason and we were so thankful for the opportunity to meet her. The closer the day got, the calmer I became.

We headed to Nashville early that morning, exactly one month from her due date. We arrived a tad early and sat in a room by ourselves. K had a doctor's appointment that was running late, so the longer we sat and waited, the more my nerves came back. However, as soon as K walked through the door, they all melted away. I immediately gave K a hug and a bouquet of flowers we brought for her. I said, "These are for you!" She said, "Well, these are for you," and handed me all of her ultrasound photos. That was the first time we saw our daughter. Talk about holding back the tears!!!

We sat down and K began to talk about her doctor's appointment and current state of pregnancy. Her first question for us was if we had chosen a name. For some reason, I was the most nervous about that part of the conversation. We had put a lot of thought into the name Gracen Leigh, but what if she hated it?!? We told her the name and explained how we had landed on it. We wanted Gracen to know about God's grace and faithfulness in our journey to her but we also wanted it to be a reminder to us...that we may never forget that God's grace is why we're parents. He loves us and gives us what we don't deserve. We explained that Leigh is the female version of my dad, my grandfather, and Brett's middle names. It was family name that she would have since she was our family no matter what. The good news is that K loved it!

They told us the meeting would last around 30-45 minutes, but we ended up talking with K for about 1.5 hours! Everything they told us about her was true. She is laid back, talkative, and funny. We got to hear all about her other children and her family. I felt like I was sitting with a friend. She made us laugh and cry throughout the entire conversation!

When asked by the pregnancy counselor why K chose us from our profile book, she gave us several reasons. The first thing out of her mouth was because, even though she was born and raised in Tennessee, she was a huge UK basketball fan! But on a more serious note, she decided to choose a family that couldn't have children. Whey they showed her our book, she said something just stood out to her. She liked us! She said it was important to her to have grandparents who were still married and close by, my job was flexible to be home with Gracen, we had a cute dog (duh!!), and we both had light hair and blue eyes like she does. She put our picture on her phone and thought about if for a few days. She just kept coming back to us. What meant the most to us is when she said, "I am thankful I can give you a gift that you can't give yourself right now. She is your baby, I'm just carrying her for you." Brett and I were both in tears.

Our time with her was awesome! It couldn't have gone better, actually. We were excited at how confident she was in her decision and it helped us feel at peace with everything too. We also found out that day that she was being induced on October 29th and K explained how she wanted us at the hospital to meet Gracen right away and do all the firsts (feeding, diaper change, etc). So, we went home with 29 more days to prepare feeling grateful, blessed, and humbled.

Stay tuned for Gracen's birth day story!

The Call

Oh dear! I haven't blogged since December?!? My how things have changed! As most of you know, we just got home yesterday with our daughter, Gracen. We got the call a little over 2 months ago that we had been chosen by a birth mother. Most people around us knew as we were preparing, but we decided not to announce over social media until she was in our arm. Now, it's time to share our story!

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August 1st was our one year mark for being a "waiting family," meaning we had been approved and were waiting to be chosen by a birth mother. The year of waiting had it's ups and downs, but for the most part, it was a period of peace and growth. Then the beginning of August hit, and I began to feel antsy. Our agency was saying the average wait time had moved from 12 months to 24 months, so it was disheartening when one year came and we thought it could be another year.

A friend recently decided to begin the adoption process and was asking why our agency wasn't servicing our area anymore. I was pretty sure it was because the Bowling Green office closed and we had been shifted to the Nashville office last August, but I wanted to be sure so I told her I'd message our case worker. I sent her a message on our parent portal and also checked to be 100% sure we were being shown in the office. A lot of things changed right as were approved and since I was getting antsy, I had fears that maybe there was a miscommunication somewhere. I sent the message and went to bed.

The next morning, on August 26th, I was putting on my make-up and getting ready to go to Paducah with my mom for the day, followed by dinner for our friend Maddie's birthday. My phone rang and I saw it was a Nashville number. I figured it was our case worker calling to answer my questions. No big deal.

She said, "I wanted to let you know that your profile book is being shown in the office...and actually....you've been chosen by a birth mother!" WHAT?!? These are the words we've been waiting to hear for so long! All I could say was, "NU UH!!!" She laughed and reassured me she was not kidding. We had been chosen by a Nashville birth mother and she was due November 1st. She continued to give me some info and said, "Oh yeah, and it's a baby girl!" I squealed! I've always wanted a girl!

I got off the phone and called Brett. By the time he answered, I was bawling and couldn't even get my words out. He knew exactly what I was calling about! I went down to my parents house to pick up my mom and told them and then got in the car to drive to Paducah. I was on cloud nine all day!

I spent the whole day on the phone calling our closest friends and family. We were hesitant to announce it to everyone at first because so much could happen in those 2 months left of her pregnancy. But at the same time, I didn't want to miss this time of celebration and rejoicing! A very wise friend who had been through a difficult pregnancy told me to celebrate each day until God's gave us a reason not to. So, we did.

We started praying each day for baby girl and her birth mother and girl-ifying the gender neutral nursery. We had fun telling people who had been praying and walking through our journey of infertility and the wait with us. So many joyful tears were shed and I got chills every time I said it out  loud. God's faithfulness was something to rejoice over and it was too hard to keep it quiet! We were amazed at His timing.

We thought we had a name picked out, but once we started thinking about it, I told Brett it just wasn't the one. This baby girl was going to have a story and I wanted her name to have meaning. We started talking about how God's grace and faithfulness was constant, even during our darkest days of this journey. He loves us with abounding grace and gives us the desires of our hearts when we are so undeserving...so we settled on GRACEN. I love it. We can share her story with her and it will be reminder to her and to us of God's unconditional love and provision for us. We decided on Leigh for her middle name because Brett, my dad, and my grandpa all share the middle name Lee, so we just did the feminine version.

Gracen Leigh is a beautiful baby girl and I can't wait to share more of our journey to bringing her home with you over the next few weeks!